


In Another Life

by ItsNotAnObsession



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, Post-Break Up, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 07:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19371706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsNotAnObsession/pseuds/ItsNotAnObsession
Summary: Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor were childhood friends and high school sweethearts. After surviving college and moving in together, things take a sudden and unexpected turn for the worst. Five years on, Kara was certain her path was just never meant to cross with Lena's again. However, life had other plans.OrKara and Lena suffer a break up and years later are thrown back into each others lives without the faintest clue how to handle one another.





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> Break ups are messy, I don't enjoy them but when they're fictional and I'm in full control, what's not to love?

There is a moment in every life where time, reality and perhaps the very world itself just stops. A moment that cannot be defined in general terms. A moment that can range from intimacy to fear, to love and to hate. A moment that it is so unique to each person but has perhaps been shared by countless other souls. 

A moment that, simply, changes everything. 

In a moment like this everything else is mute. Your day, your week, your very life. Any and all other moments become lost as you are engulfed by this one. 

Whether you’re looking for this moment or not, the feeling is always the same. Heart stopping. 

Time slows, the world around freezing as your vision hones in on one thing. A moment like this can cater to any kind of scenario; the birth of your first child or your very first kiss. The first “I love you” and the very last goodbye. Each moment possesses the same slowing of time as your reality is changed forever. 

This feeling is indescribable until the first time you finally experience it. There is no way to truly articulate the stopping of your world until you’ve felt it for yourself. The jump of your heart or weight of your stomach are never more pronounced than in a moment like this. 

Kara Danvers had had moments like this explained to her on countless occasions. First by her foster mother who had described to Kara the moment her sister, Alex, had been placed in to her arms for the first time. The second by Kara’s cousin who had shared with her the very first memory he possessed of his adoptive parents. And the third by her sister, who gushed about the first moment she’d met her wife, Maggie. 

Kara had dreamt of feeling this feeling from a young age and had believed she’d experienced it the first moment Lena Luthor had tumbled into her life. 

Devoid of her constant air of grace and decorum, Lena had dramatically fallen atop an unsuspecting Kara, surprising the young girl enough to send her tumbling to ground with the breath-taking brunette.

In a tangle of limbs and awkward apologies, Kara had been certain that that very moment had been the one often described to her. Time had seemingly slowed as she stared up at the embarrassed goddess trying to detangle herself from Kara. 

She’d later be proven wrong when said brunette would kiss her several years later, time slowing once more as the world itself melted away and Kara drowned in the all-consuming waters of love, surrendering herself to them without a fight. 

The final time Kara believed she felt the moment was when Lena left. In that moment Kara had hoped time would never resume, unable to fathom a reality without Lena Luthor in it. 

But she’d been wrong after all. The all-consuming, heart stopping, time halting and life altering moment came right now as she stood frozen on the spot, her eyes locked on the brunette she’d never quite been able to let go of. 

Lena was about thirty metres away, close enough to hear her should Kara call her name. Her soft blue coat was flecked with snowflakes, as was her hair. She looked away from Kara, her attention captured by something more important. 

Kara was unable to move, her eyes fixed on Lena as her heart struggled to beat at all. She wasn’t breathing. People were weaving around her, throwing scowls her way as they were forced to break their strides to avoid colliding with her rigid form. 

Nothing else existed but Lena. She looked exactly the same, their years apart having not changed her in the slightest bit. Her skin was still so delicate and white like the snow around them. Her pink lips were drawn together in a thin line, something she often did when impatient.

Kara continued to watch Lena as if she were the only thing anchoring her to existence. She daren’t look away lest one of them be lost forever. But that was all she could do. Just stare. 

They hadn’t spoken since the break-up. Kara hadn’t heard Lena’s laugh in five years. Nor had she heard her name uttered breathlessly in one thousand, nine hundred and seventy-nine days. 

It had been so very long. 

Kara had run the scenario of seeing Lena again over and over in her head. She’d imagined the wildest of meetings to the most generic. The one she found herself in now had been one of the many predicted. And yet she felt no more prepared than if she’d never thought about it at all. 

It was like stepping into a foreign world. Kara didn’t speak the language nor know the lay of the land. She was completely lost without a map to guide her. Lena was her goal but there might as well have been an ocean dividing them rather than a road. 

The brunette moved then, her posture relaxing and her face brightening as she spotted something beyond Kara’s line of sight. Jealously pooled in Kara’s stomach as she wondered who Lena would wait for. A friend or a lover? A colleague or perhaps a wife? Kara’s once bountiful well of information on Lena’s life had long since dried up. 

A woman appeared then and was instantly wrapped in Lena’s welcoming arms. Kara moved then too, her hand reaching out to grasp the tree beside her, her fingers numbly digging into the rough bark as she watched from a far. 

The two women pulled away and Kara recognised the newcomer as their mutual friend, Samantha Arias. Sam had always been more Lena’s friend than Kara’s. They rarely saw one other outside of social events.

Lena and Sam exchanged shivering greetings. The cold twinged at Kara but Lena’s smile was enough to ignite a furnace within her. Lena turned then towards the opposite road and panic gripped Kara like a vice. She spun around to face the dank brick wall behind her, heart pounding. 

She heard Lena’s voice then, drawing closer. It was like a forgotten melody Kara had longed to hear. A siren’s call tailored specifically for her. 

Sam aided Lena up onto the pavement, commenting on her bad choice of footwear in such icy conditions. Lena laughed it off as they turned to walk the way Kara had come. 

Kara chanced a glance over her shoulder to see their retreating bodies moving back down the street. She watched them go, clinging to the tree as if she’d fall down without its support. 

Life resumed then. She became aware of the bustle of people around her and the damp snow against her ankles. Eyes still fixed on Lena, Kara let herself draw in a shaky breath, the cold air burning lungs. 

A warm tongue lapped at her chilled fingers, grounding Kara like the sudden pull of gravity in space. Her eyes jumped down to meet familiar brown orbs peering up at her. The black Labrador stood out against the snow like neon lights in the dark but had slipped from Kara’s mind effortlessly at the sight of Lena. 

She tightened her numb grip on the dog’s lead, offering a half-hearted smile as she willed her legs to work again. Lena was gone now, melted into the crowd. Kara still looked back once more, unable to decide if she wanted to see the green eyes of her dreams staring back at her again. 

** 

The rest of the walk through the city was, naturally, uneventful. Kara did two extra laps in hopes to clear her mind before returning to the apartment. She felt as if she were in a hazy dream. Any moment now a colourful clown would in invade her field of vision or everyone would turn into blue frogs, signifying this was just one bizarre dream. 

But reality remained firmly in place as she approached her apartment building. She clenched and unclenched her grip on the lead as she led the snow flecked dog into the safe warmth of the building. 

Kara took the several flights of stairs up to her apartment at a jog, her feet long since numbed by the cold. She fumbled for her keys, jamming them into the lock before heaving the front door open. 

She was lurched inside by the eager animal, her arm and shoulder joints seemingly displacing at the sudden tug. 

‘Shepard.’ She hissed, releasing his lead to trail behind him as she closed the door with a snap.

The apartment was warm and cosy. Dark winter clouds obscured the mid-day sun from view, casting the city into chilly shadow. It was the kind of weather that kept everyone safely wrapped up indoors. 

Though it was only mid-November, Christmas decorations already lurked around Kara’s homemade apartment. Cards and candles, decretive snowmen pillows and holly sprigs already graced the small space much to the distress of Alex. 

The elder Danvers was a firm believer in holiday decorations being reserved for December only. In an effort to not antagonise her sister too much, Kara restrained herself from playing Christmas music in October. 

Shepard was yet to sport his Christmas collar but had already been gifted a new Christmas theme chew toy by Kara. When it came to the dog, not even Alex could argue it was too soon. 

Kara busied herself in the kitchen, the desire for hot chocolate was strong enough to keep other thoughts from the forefront of her mind for the moment. Chilly fingers hovered around the edge of her mug as she waited for it too cool a little.

She returned then to thoughts of Lena. Last she heard Lena was firmly based in Metropolis with regular trips around the world for business with partnered companies. The grapevine held very few connections to Kara when it came to Lena now a days. With the exception of Sam and Kate Kane, few others who knew Lena well enough to receive updates on her life that could be passed back to Kara. 

In the beginning this had proved a blessing. Had their social group been too tightly mixed Kara would never have escaped talk of her ex-girlfriend. However, the few mutual friends they possessed seemed to take unspoken sides and any and all communication ceased between them. 

The only person who ever had regular updates on Lena was Mrs Kent, Clark’s mother, whom Kara only saw once in a blue moon. Sam and Kate were always cryptic, something Kara respected and she didn’t ever press for information. 

But while Kara possessed no strong bond with Sam, Alex did. Which now begged the question, was Lena’s visit impromptu and thus Sam had been unable to share with Alex of her coming…or had Alex known. 

Kara wasn’t sure what to make of this new possibility. She drummed her fingers of the edge of her mug, eyes flicking over to her discarded phone every once and a while. Alex was at work and like any hardened professional, would not answer unless it were an emergency. 

Kara sighed, pushing away from the counter and drifting off into her bedroom. Shep trotted in behind her, hopeful she might be about to curl up in bed so that he could join her. Kara wandered aimlessly around the room, her heart fluttering in her chest every time she remembered seeing Lena again. 

The ending of the relationship had been less than desirable and to this day Kara had not been able to return to Metropolis in fear in bumping into Lena there. Never had it occurred to her that by chance it would happen here in National City. 

An hour or two slipped by as Kara continued to dwell of Lena. She avoided sinking too deep into the past, fearful of the memories it would invoke. 

A knock at the door startled both Kara and Shepard. Placing the long since empty mug on her dresser, Kara followed the dog out of her room and towards the heavy front door. Ushering Shepard out of the way, she flicked the lock open and pulled the door towards her. 

Kara was greeted by the softly smiling face of Alex on the other side. She knew in an instant that a weight rested upon her sister at the sight of her reserved posture. Usually, Alex would be through the door before Kara fully had it open, eager to greet the dog and then her little sister. 

‘Hey.’ Alex greeted, her cheeks and ears rosy from the cold. 

‘Hi.’ Kara said back, stepping aside to let the elder Danvers in. Shep eagerly greeted her, his tail wagging madly. Alex grinned briefly, ruffling his ears.

‘What’s up?’ Kara asked, eyeing her sister carefully. Alex noticeably bit her lip, stalling for a moment as she deliberately made a fuss of Shep. Kara walked away from her, pulling the sleeves of her baggy knit sweater over her hands and tucking them under her arms. Alex followed idly behind her, stewing quietly. 

‘Alex,’ she prompted once more, her voice a touch firmer. 

‘Lena is in National City.’ She blurted out, clearly giving up trying to find delicate words and cutting to the chase. Kara nodded stiffly, sitting down on the squidgy sofa. 

‘I know.’ She replied, her tone oddly vacant. Alex frowned, following Kara to the sofa in a hurry. 

‘You know? How? I only just found out myself.’ Alex asked quickly, angling herself to face her sister. Kara sighed, one of many questions answered. 

‘I saw her a few hours ago.’ 

‘You _saw_ her? Where? Did you talk to her?’ Alex’s questions came out in a frantic rush, making Kara smile fondly. 

‘Yes. The street and no.’ She smirked as Alex pushed her shoulder at the vague answers and elaborated further. ‘I was walking Shepard and I spotted her across the road. I don’t know how to describe it…everything just stopped.’ 

‘Did she see you?’ 

‘No. I made sure of it.’ Kara closed her eyes as she remembered seeing Lena. It still felt so surreal. Lena had been nothing more than a memory to her until mere hours ago, repressed and painful. 

‘I know this must be difficult-’ 

‘-difficult?’ Kara echoed. Difficult seemed too small a word and too vague a description to truly articulate how she felt. ‘I’ve wondered what it would be like to see her again for years. Would she happy to see me or angry? Nonplussed or indifferent? Hell, I don’t even know how _I_ feel about seeing her again. All I do know is that there is no reaction she could omit that I am ready for.’ 

Alex didn’t reply, either lacking the words or simply knowing there was nothing to say. What could be said in regards to the memory of Kara and Lena?

Their break up had, like most aspects of their relationship, been effortless. Like smoke dissipating in the air all traces of Lena Luthor were gone from Kara’s life in a matter of days. By the time Kara had returned to their apartment everything important was gone. Only winter clothes, random dresses and socks remained neatly stowed in the dresser. 

The first night Lena was gone Kara had curled up in several abandoned sweatshirts and scarves, anything that smelt like Lena, as she cried herself to sleep. By the morning Kate had sorrowfully appeared to collect the remaining items. Kara had been ready to tackle her to the ground should she try and take the MIT sweatshirt from her. Kate had been smart enough not to challenge the distraught Kara and left her alone with the sweatshirt. 

She didn’t leave the apartment for a full week, living off of homemade frozen lasagnes that Lena had made and stored in the freezer. Alex had stayed with her for the first two nights, barely say anything as she simply held Kara. Others had come to comfort her; Winn, James, Lucy. Even Cat had offered words of sympathy when Kara called to inform her she’d be taking a few days off work. 

Nothing began to get better until she retreated home to Midvale to cry in Eliza’s arms instead of Alex’s. 

She’d remained in Midvale for some time, unable to face the apartment she’d shared with Lena for almost a year. It had been the first thing to go when she began her healing process. Every inch of the apartment possessed an intimate memory that only Kara and Lena shared. 

The scuffing on the floor came from their heavy table chairs, the chip on the counter had resulted from weight lifting malfunction and the dents along the bedroom wall from the first night they had christened their new bed. 

Every aspect of the apartment had been crafted by the two of them, the decor having been a perfect mix of their shared tastes. It had been entirely theirs, thus making it unbearable to Kara. 

Kara turned away from Alex, unshed tears brimming in her eyes as endless memories washed over her. She’d avoided them for so long, their warmth having long since faded. Thoughts of Lena only stoked the cold remnants of Kara’s heart. 

‘I’m not ready for this.’ Kara lamented softly. ‘She can’t be here…I can’t face her.’ 

‘All Sam said was they were meeting for coffee while Lena was here for business. She might be gone by tomorrow and you won’t have to face any of it.’ Alex assured, reaching over to squeeze Kara’s knee. 

‘And if she’s not?’ 

Alex hesitated, mulling over an answer. ‘If she’s not…then you’ve faced far worse than an ex-girlfriend. You’ll get through this.’

‘Without fail, no matter if she was angry or happy to see me, Lena would always hug me. She’d hug me the exact same way like clockwork. Even when we fought she’d still hug me. She’d put her hands on my chest first and look me in the eye, often offering soft words or a greeting before wrapping one hand around the back of my neck and looping her other arm around my shoulders. I’d put my own arms around her waist in turn and rest my nose on her shoulder. Whether I wanted to or not I’d always be able to smell her perfume. Vanilla and something that was so uniquely Lena.’ 

‘Are you worried she’ll…hug you?’ Alex asked, the edges of her mouth quirking at the peculiar statement. 

‘Some things never change. No matter how the world turns or what course your life takes, some things never change. Like the way she hugs me. It’s methodical, consistent and something that had been such a large part of my daily routine. There isn’t a reality I can return to where I’ve “gotten through this” and can be hugged by her and have it mean nothing. It’s all or nothing, Alex.’ 

Before her sister could reply the violent buzz of Alex’s phone rendered the conversation over as she dug it out of her pocket and answered. 

‘Hey, honey.’ Alex greeted her wife on the end of the phone. Kara waited patiently for the garbled voice of Maggie Sawyer to jabber at Alex about something. Alex shared a brief back and forth with Maggie before hanging up the phone and flashing Kara and apologetic smile. 

‘Everything okay?’ Kara asked as Alex tucked the phone away once more. 

‘Yeah. We’re out of dip for game night so I need to pick some up on the way home.’ Alex muttered, her brow scrunched as she noticeably made a mental note of what to buy. ‘You’ll be there right?’ 

Kara’s heart jutted at the thought of game night. A weekly Saturday night tradition among their friend group that succeeded in bringing everyone together without fail. Kara and Alex made up the perfect team and were in the lead to win this month’s competition. They all bundled together at one another’s apartment, mostly Alex and Maggie’s since their son, Oscar, was born. James and Lucy would come in full force, ready to win and be beaten. Winn and Kara would regularly carpool together and arrive on top of Sam and Kate without fail every time.

The thought of facing everyone, especially Sam, was low on Kara’s list of wants as she shook her head at Alex. ‘No, not tonight.’

‘Kara,’ Alex smiled empathetically. ‘I’m not letting you sink like last time. There is no way Sam will bring Lena if she’s staying and risk the two of you clashing.’ 

‘It’s not that. I just- I just want to be alone tonight, Alex.’ Kara reassured, taking Alex’s hand. ‘Now, go home to your wife before she has a melt down over dip.’ 

‘I can stay for longer if you want-’

‘-no. Go. I’m going to be okay.’ Kara said firmly, giving Alex a coaxing shove. The elder Danvers nodded and ducked forward to kiss Kara’s forehead. 

‘Come on by if you change your mind. I’ll try and hold up the team without you.’ Alex called back as she retreated towards the door. 

‘I know you will.’ Kara said back.

**

**Eleven Years Ago**

Kara often wondered if the early residents of Smallville, Kansas unanimously agreed the permanent aesthetic of the small southern town should be a dusty yellow. The roads, the cars, the clothing and even the people all seemed to bare a permanent yellowish sheen from the dirt roads and neighbouring farms.

Compared to the perfectly green, catalogue like Midvale, Smallville was like a foreign country. Kara liked that about the bustling town. The people were refreshing compared to the yummy mummies and business types that lurked in Midvale’s suburbs. 

Her visits to see her elder cousin, Clark, were always enjoyable. His adoptive parents, Martha and Jonathan, had had Clark since he was a baby. Kara believed her family was cursed by some ancient witch or warlock, the only answer she’d been able to come up with as a child to explain the loss of both Clark’s parents and her own. 

Kara’s aunt and uncle had died in a car crash when Clark was only a few months old and Kara was yet to be born. He’d been promptly adopted by the Kents, who’d been named Clark’s guardians should something happen to his parents. Kara had often wondered why her own parents hadn’t been chosen to care for him, but never got around to asking them. 

Tragedy had further struck what remained of their family when Kara’s parents suffered a similar fate as her aunt and uncle. While Kara was safe at home, her parents had ventured out for the night to enjoy a romantic dinner together. They never made it there for they were struck down in a hit and run. 

The details of their death were hazy to Kara, having been so young at the time. Her only remaining family had been Clark, whose parents had given her refuge until her own guardians stepped up. Eliza and Jerimiah Danvers, both scientist who had worked with Kara’s father, had been appointed her legal guardians in the event of their death. 

It had been a difficult adjustment, made only a little easier by the aid of Kara’s godmother and cousin. She’d taken some time to warm up the Danvers’ only daughter, Alex, but an unbreakable bond soon ensued between them. 

Still, Kara remained close to Clark despite the sudden distance put between them and occasionally visited him over the years. It was on such an occasion that things took a sudden turn with the introduction of a stunning brunette. 

Kara had been out in the Kent’s fields when Lena Luthor had been dramatically ejected from her horse, over the old wooden fence and right on top of Kara. 

She’d buckled like a snapping twig, legs giving way the moment the force of the brunette hit her. They tumbled to the ground, the thick grass barely a cushion as Kara landed on her back hard, drawing a comical oomph from the blonde on impact. 

‘Shit.’ Kara half laughed half hissed as the girl above scrambled to get off of her. 

‘God,’ she muttered, her hands slipping from underneath her as she shrunk back from Kara. ‘Shit, are you okay?’ 

Kara didn’t manage a reply as she fully took in the girl sprawled in front of her. Long, slightly curled dark hair had fallen out of her pony tail to frame her utterly gorgeous face. Soft pale skin, unusual for Smallville, was flushed red with embarrassment.  Her eyes were the most startling shade of green Kara had ever seen and her bashful smile was enough to render Kara speechless. 

‘I’m so sorry, he got spooked by something in the grass.’ The girl gestured wildly to the panicking horse on the opposite side of the fence. ‘Are you hurt?’ 

Kara dumbly shook her head as she clambered to her feet and offered the brunette a helping hand up. She took it gratefully and let Kara pull her to her feet. Kara relished in the soft skin of her hand and was sadden when she let it go. 

‘Not every day girls fall from the sky.’ Kara mused, managing a somewhat charming smile. The girl let out a shaky laugh, her cheeks still bright red. 

‘The first time that happens not only does someone see but I fall right on top of them.’ The girl groaned, stepping over to the horse to calm him down.   

‘You make quite the forceful first impression.’ Kara grinned. The girl tried to scowl at her, but the edges of her mouth quirked. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay…?’ the girl trailed off, waiting for Kara to fill in the blank. 

‘Kara.’ She supplied. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay, Kara?’ 

‘I’m sure…,’ Kara waited in turn for the girl to supply to her own name. 

‘Lena.’ She introduced, formerly offering Kara her hand. 

‘Lena.’ Kara repeated, committing the name to memory as if it were the word of god. 

‘It’s nice to meet you.’ Lena smiled, their hands still shaking. 

‘You too.’ 

**

  **Present Day**

Kara waddled up and down her apartment, Shepard moving with her between her legs. Her arms were tucked tightly underneath her arms as she waited for the clock to strike ten thirty. Her friends never stayed longer than eleven when Alex and Maggie were hosting and Kara was waiting them out before running to her sister once more. 

The whole night had been stifling. Every window in the apartment was open but Kara still felt like she couldn’t breathe. Alex had been wrong; Sam had indeed brought Lena with her to game night for a small reunion. Kara wondered if Alex had informed Sam she wouldn’t be in attendance and thus it was safe to bring Lena. 

Kara couldn’t remain in the empty apartment and grabbed her coat the moment the clock struck ten thirty and headed downstairs to make the exactly half an hour walk to her sister’s apartment across town. 

She went slowly, trying to give any stragglers a chance to really flesh out their stay before leaving. Kara’s heart felt tight in her chest as she approached the apartment complex, her hands dug deep in her pockets to shield them from the freezing air. 

Her heart all but stopped when blue eyes connected with startled green on the other side of the revolving door. 

Kara wondered again if the fabled “moment” was a reoccurring thing. The world just stopped around her as she stared right back at Lena, feet drawing her back as the youngest Luthor pushed through the doors towards her. 

Her lungs burned for the breath Lena had stolen from her lungs, her unblinking eyes stinging in the cold air. Everything about her frigid appearance was surely comical as she stared back at Lena. 

Lena was more composed than Kara, her strong sculpted jaw was jutted up slightly as she looked at Kara calculatingly, like she was a tricky maths problem she needed to solve. Her hair was down, the way Kara loved it most. Her clothes, flashier than Kara remembered, hugged her body like a second skin. Even her thick coat seemed to somehow define her godlike form. 

Neither spoke, words so very far from either woman’s mind as they continued to stare at one another. Kara had always prided herself in being one of the few who could read the closed book that was Lena Luthor, but now, so many years later, she struggled to do so.

‘Lena.’ Kara finally managed, the name slipping from her lips with practiced ease. It was simultaneously the greatest and worst feeling to say her name in that breathless tone again. Though just saying her name was enough to floor Kara, Lena remained passive. 

‘Kara.’ She replied, her tone far colder than Kara had ever expected to hear. It matched the look in her eyes and the emotionless mask plastered on her face. 

She said nothing more, content to let her heart silently break in two all over again. After all she’d predicted and anticipated, the potential anger, happiness or indifference she might have expected were far from what she got. Instead Lena offered her the only thing Kara thought her incapable of feeling. Hate.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, break ups are messy. Even when it's five years later. 
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr here > https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thealcharles or search for thealcharles


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